Rachael and Melvyn

ON ALCHEMY

R. Apart from pointy hats and bubbling retorts, what was alchemy all about?

M. Rather like particle physicists nowadays, alchemists wanted a unified theory of everything. Including how God made and sustains the cosmos, how our minds work, where our soul goes, why we get ill etc.

R. That’s a pretty tall order! Where did they get their ideas from?

M. Western alchemy really took off in the fourteenth century as Muslim writings based on Greek philosophy became available in Latin. Plus certain trades, like dyeing and metallurgy. Plus the power of fire to change things.

R. Fire?

M. Everyone knew that everything was made from earth, air, fire and water, as Aristotle pronounced. Burn cinnabar and you get white runny mercury and yellow sulphur.

R. So?

M. The cinnabar must have been made by the descent of the Divine spirit of quicksilver into earthy sulphur. You could reproduce the creation in your furnace. And the irruption and resurrection of Jesus into earthy history. Amazing!

R. Come off it!

M. The more things you could line up the truer it became.

R. We don’t think like that nowadays.

M. Don’t we? We have spent billions on feebler ideas at CERN.

R. I need a mug of tea and a marmalade toastie.

Colin Smith

On Being a Pendulum

 

RACHAEL AND MELVYN

On being a pendulum
February 2013

R. Did you know, Foucault’s pendulum was 67 metres long, and it always swings in the same direction in space?

M. Why should I? I’ve actually been a pendulum, oscillating in Simple Harmonic Motion.

R. That’s ridiculous!

M. No its not; I did a bungy jump off an old railway bridge into a canyon when I went to New Zealand, years ago. It was a bit like committing suicide, but you bounce back up and down a few times. They tie an elastic rope to your feet and rescue you in a rubber dinghy.

R. Do you believe him Barney? (Barney wags his tail) If you do, I suppose I must.

M. Aristotle said that love tried to drag falling objects into the centre of the world. Newton called it Gravity.

R. Then if everything is falling into the nearest heavenly body, why is the cosmos flying apart?

M. Good question. Newton thought there was another mysterious force acting on the heavenly bodies to counteract gravity. He called it Centrifugal Force, I believe.

R. How are these forces supposed to work?

M. I don’t know! They just do. Newton postulated them! They explain things! Nothing has been found that contradicts them!

R. Now you are getting angry. I will make the marmalade toasties this evening in case you start spilling things.

Colin Smith