Rachael and Melvyn

ON ALCHEMY

R. Apart from pointy hats and bubbling retorts, what was alchemy all about?

M. Rather like particle physicists nowadays, alchemists wanted a unified theory of everything. Including how God made and sustains the cosmos, how our minds work, where our soul goes, why we get ill etc.

R. That’s a pretty tall order! Where did they get their ideas from?

M. Western alchemy really took off in the fourteenth century as Muslim writings based on Greek philosophy became available in Latin. Plus certain trades, like dyeing and metallurgy. Plus the power of fire to change things.

R. Fire?

M. Everyone knew that everything was made from earth, air, fire and water, as Aristotle pronounced. Burn cinnabar and you get white runny mercury and yellow sulphur.

R. So?

M. The cinnabar must have been made by the descent of the Divine spirit of quicksilver into earthy sulphur. You could reproduce the creation in your furnace. And the irruption and resurrection of Jesus into earthy history. Amazing!

R. Come off it!

M. The more things you could line up the truer it became.

R. We don’t think like that nowadays.

M. Don’t we? We have spent billions on feebler ideas at CERN.

R. I need a mug of tea and a marmalade toastie.

Colin Smith

On Being a Pendulum

 

RACHAEL AND MELVYN

On being a pendulum
February 2013

R. Did you know, Foucault’s pendulum was 67 metres long, and it always swings in the same direction in space?

M. Why should I? I’ve actually been a pendulum, oscillating in Simple Harmonic Motion.

R. That’s ridiculous!

M. No its not; I did a bungy jump off an old railway bridge into a canyon when I went to New Zealand, years ago. It was a bit like committing suicide, but you bounce back up and down a few times. They tie an elastic rope to your feet and rescue you in a rubber dinghy.

R. Do you believe him Barney? (Barney wags his tail) If you do, I suppose I must.

M. Aristotle said that love tried to drag falling objects into the centre of the world. Newton called it Gravity.

R. Then if everything is falling into the nearest heavenly body, why is the cosmos flying apart?

M. Good question. Newton thought there was another mysterious force acting on the heavenly bodies to counteract gravity. He called it Centrifugal Force, I believe.

R. How are these forces supposed to work?

M. I don’t know! They just do. Newton postulated them! They explain things! Nothing has been found that contradicts them!

R. Now you are getting angry. I will make the marmalade toasties this evening in case you start spilling things.

Colin Smith

　

On DUST

Rachael & Melvyn

On Dust

M. Must you sit down with such a thump? Look, you have sent up a cloud of dust!

R. But there’s dust everywhere in this cottage. That’s what I like about it. Mum’s always dusting and tidying up at home. You’ve got spider’s webs, too.

M. As God said to Adam (Genesis 3 v 19) Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. He didn’t say much about spider’s webs though.

R. Here, it says in Genesis 2 verse 7 that God made Adam out of dust in the first place. I suppose they thought it was like atoms and they were pretty much right.

M. Israel was a pretty dusty place; still is.

R. Not sure I want to end up as dust.

M Which you ? After all God breathed the breath of life into both you and Adam, so you weren’t only dust.

R. I suppose its OK for your body to be dispersed and recycled, as long as your soul lives on, somehow. And Barney could still be my ghostly friend.

M. Fortunately the descendants of Adam invented Hoovers, which I use occasionally. I’m getting too old to move the furniture, but the dust oozes from under it into the patches I have cleared. I hope.

R. I’m thirsty now. Lets have some tea and a marmalade toastie.

Colin Smith

　

　

　

　

　

On Curiosity

                                            RACHAEL and MELVYN
                                                       On Curiosity

R. Why was God so angry when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil?

M. Because they disobeyed Him.

R. Surely God would like us to be wiser and more knowledgeable and generally more use?

M. So you are in favour of curiosity?

R. Of course!

M. Even if you have to destroy the world to find the answer?

R. That’s silly! How could curiosity destroy the world?

M. Curiosity leads to understanding, then tinkering, then exploiting, then destroying. It’s called Capitalism. Bang go the Blue-finned Tuna.

R. Rubbish!

M. OK. Let’s say unbridled curiosity can lead to those bad outcomes. People used to think that Awe and Wonder at God’s creation were better than curiosity, until Francis Bacon and Galileo and co came along. They were all for Finding Things Out.

R. But lots of good things have been discovered.

M. Indeed. But meanwhile we are gobbling up the world. Lets gobble some marmalade toasties instead.

R. And mugs of tea, please.

Who was Zoroaster?

(For January 2012)
Logo
RACHAEL & MELVYN
On Zoroaster


R. You said that the Three Kings in the Bible were Zoroastrian.

M. Did I?

R. Yes you did! Who was Zoroaster, anyway? And what were they doing at the stable where Jesus was born?

M. They were at the stable because they were following the star that paused right above the stable. They came from Babylon and were expert Magicians and Astrologers. This new star paused at its Zenith, between star-rise and star-set. The stable was right underneath it.

R. But what’s it got to do with Zoroaster?

M. Zoroaster appears to have been a real prophet, born in Persia about a thousand years before Jesus. Christians don’t have much to do with him, but he is revered by Muslims, and the Bahai consider him as one of the messengers of God along with Abraham & Co.

R. But what was his angle?

M. He taught that everything was a struggle between Good (Ahura Mazda) and Evil (Ahraman) and that we have Freewill to choose which way to go.

R. But we believe that too, don’t we?

M. I hope so.

R. So he was a kind of Pre-Christian Christian?

M. Oh dear! I think at this point we had better have a marmalade toastie and a mug of tea. Put the kettle on would you?
Colin Smith

Marmalade Psychoanalysis

RACHAEL AND MELVYN

On Marmalade Psychoanalysis

R. Uncle Melvyn! My ID got out the other day and I behaved really badly!

M. Why didn’t your SUPER-EGO stop you?

R. Because my EGO wouldn’t let it!

M. Let me guess. You’ve been doing Sigmund Freud at school?

R. Yes, and it means that nothing is our fault any more. Isn’t that great?

M. Sin is abolished at a stroke. Free Will is no more. Marvellous - you can do no wrong. No need for forgiveness or any of that old tommy rot.

R. OK, I do have an Oedipus complex; (or is it an Electra complex?). Anyway I want to kill my mother and make love to my father. Oh yes, and I have a Death Wish too, I think…

M. I must say it all sounds very relaxed and jolly. Do you think it has the ring of truth?

R. Well, it all seems to fit together and make sense.

M. I prefer Carl Gustav Jung myself. He writes better stories.

R. Stories? So they are all made up?

M. Just because they are made up doesn’t mean they aren’t true.

R. Give me a marmalade toastie, someone. I’m confused.

Marmalade Psychoanalysis